


Goron Spice and Everything Nice

by redamancys



Category: Linked Universe - Fandom, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-01-13 07:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21240170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redamancys/pseuds/redamancys
Summary: If Legend knew what cooking with Wild, withGoron Spice, was going to entail, he might have stopped before eating the first bite.In which Legend learns the true meaning of spicy. Wild entertains guests. Sky tries to nap. Warriors tries to woo. Twilight, to breath. Time, to keep Twilight alive. Wind, to eat. Four, to be fashionable. And Hyrule wonders what's wrong with them all.





	1. Goron Spice

Hateno Village is as peaceful as ever in the late afternoon sun. 

Well, _peaceful_, until Wind opens his mouth and loudly asks, "Hey, who are those guys on your lawn."

All heads turn to look where Wind is pointing. There, two people are lounging on the grass next to Wild's house.

"Do you know them, Wild?" Twilight takes a step forward and pulls Wind behind him, suspicious of the loiters. Wind squawks that _hey he can't see._

"Don't worry, they're friends," Wild tells them. He pushes past Twilight and heads towards them.

Everyone else is left to stand awkwardly on the bridge, all bunched up and watching Wild as he converses with the two men. He makes a bunch of gestures and then points backs to the group. The men nod and set off and then reappear not long after with grunting noises seemingly too loud for the simple task of carrying piles of bedding over their heads. They disappear into Wild's house, blankets, pillows and all. 

The men exit a few moments later empty-handed and Wild forks out some rupees to one of them.

With a small wave, Wild scuttles off and rejoins the group on the bridge.

"Okay. We're all set."

"That sounded... strenuous." Twilight comments, referring to the bizarre scene.

The Links all nod in agreement.

"You should have heard them when they were planting flowers. It was like a war chant," Wild huffs out a laugh.

After being suitably baffled by the strange occurrence that transpired, they walk inside Wild's house to a mess of bedding. The floor is pillows. The walls are blankets. Apparently they were hung like tapestry in case they needed extra. _Freebies_, Wilds explains, like it makes a difference. Still, with or without them, Wild's home would still look like a blanket bomb went off.

"No one's allergic to Cucco feathers, right?" Wild asks his stupefied guests.

There's of volley of nopes and nahs. The only one to offer up a proper answer is Legend, who says he's allergic to Warrior's crappy cologne. Warriors vows to wear it more often.

"Where did they get all this stuff?" Hyrule pipes up, amazed.

"More importantly, where do we eat?" Warriors has a hand on his chin, mentally trying to figure out the dining logistics. 

Twilight, who's firm grip on the back of Wind's collar is the only thing preventing his attempts of a great leap into the bedding abyss, answers with an unhelpful, "Anywhere?" 

Warriors gives him a _look_.

"Anywhere is currently _that_." Warriors points to the mass of fluff where Sky has taken up residence. "Unless you want to pick out crumbs out of that for the next week, we need an alternative answer."

Twilight sighs.

"How about outside like we usually do?" Four says. He's taken the cubby area by the stairs as his own. His arms are snugly wrapped around a pillow.

"This is the first time in quite a while that we've been to a town. We should make the most of it," Time states. 

"Be civilized?" Sky's hand shoot up in question, then kinda flops down onto the pillows around him. 

"Exactly!" Warriors bangs a fist onto his palm for emphasis since Wild's table has been squirrelled away into the corner.

"Well, there's a large dining room at the inn and two cookpots nearby outside it. That would make cooking a lot faster having an extra," Wild comments.

"We'll head there then!" Warrior decides.

With a twist, Wind finally frees himself from Twilight's grip and flings himself into the awaiting pillow heap.

There's a shriek from Sky and then the chimney of Wild's house erupts with Cucco feathers. 

It's Legend's turn to help Wild with meal prep. After a lengthy time of picking feathers from each other's clothes, they've finally made they're way to the middle of town. They part ways with Sky, Warriors and Wind who head to the inn to check it out, and settle by the cooking area.

"Okay first, we've got to light a fire," Wild tells him.

Before Legend can say anything, Wild pulls out a giant flaming sword and with a great heave, swipes at the cookpots.

They light. Oh do they light. The burst of fire is overflowing and overwhelming.

Legend recoils only a _little_ bit. He proud of that.

"I have a Fire Rod for that you know," Legend says.

"I know. But those things aren't very... stable? We don't want fireballs bouncing all around town," Wild speaks with the knowledge of someone who has seen this happen before. Perhaps _done_ exactly that before.

"Is this why your cooking pot is on your lawn instead of in your kitchen?" Legend asks, 

Wild just gives him a small smile.

The flames, thankfully, settle down eventually to a low burn.

As Wild starts digging out supplies, Legend looks around and spots a ladle nearby. He figures this will be helpful with their cooking endeavour. He picks it up, only to nearly drop it when he jumps at the sound of a voice calling out to his left.

"Take it. I'll explain to the villagers that you borrowed it."

After recovering from his second near heart attack of the day, he turns to the side, ready to complain to the person responsible for scaring him half to death, when he sees it's a lady who's just... smiling away at him. Legend loses his nerve.

"I'll... just leave this here," he tells her.

He places the ladle back where he found it and turns to Wild when suddenly there is a rice ball in his face.

"Here," Wild says.

"What," is Legend's eloquent reply.

His vision is 99% rice and 1% Wild's fingers.

Wild has somehow already made rice balls for the both of them while Legend was preoccupied. _To keep our strength up while we cook_ being his reason.

"Try it," Wild attempts again.

Legend won't say no to free food so he tucks in. 

Wild also brings out a bottle of red powdery stuff and suggests he sprinkle a bit of it on the rice balls for a little extra flavor. 

Legend, unthinkingly, does exactly that. He takes a big bite.

"It's good, right?" Wild looks hopeful. The kid has a beaming smile on his face and Legend wonders when was the last time he's seen him this genuinely bright and happy. He's guesses it's was when Wild last cooked—he's ecstatic about food.

"Surprisingly," Legend informs him.

Wild's smile widens. 

It really is delicious. The spice accentuates the flavor of the mushrooms mixed in with the rice but Legend wouldn't say that out loud.

Looking back on things, taking Wild's spice suggestion was his first mistake.

He's fine at first. Really. They finish their snack and begin to properly prepare dinner. It's when he's in the middle of placing mushrooms on skewers that it hits him._Badly._

"Wild?" 

"Yeah?" Wild asks, distractedly.

"Did you dehydrate a volcano then crush it into powered and serve it to me?"

"What?" Wild looks up from the soup he was concentrating on stirring and gives him a confused stare.

"The _powder_." Legend is losing his voice by this point.

"Oh. You mean the Goron Spice? What about it?" Wild looks only moderately concerned at Legend's suffering.

"D-did you... put it in the s-soup?" Legend asks.

"Yeah, why? It's in everything else, too. I just used the one bottle..." 

Legend makes a face that looks like he's dying. 

"Oooh boy."

Legend doesn't say anything else after that. He _can't_. He's too busy fighting an internal battle of epic, fiery proportions.

He's only capable of vague gestures in his desperate state and Wild somehow, gratefully, interprets his flailing as a need for a drink. 

Wild hands him a bottle of milk from out of thin air and he downs the whole thing in one go.

The Sheikah Slate is a gift, Legend thinks. A true, utter gift.

With a satisfied sound he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Wild is chuckling quietly beside him and failing to hide his smirk.

"You remind me of Time right now," he says.

Legend frowns. 

"Impossible." He has regained the art of speech now that his mouth feels slightly less like lava.

"Have you _seen_ how many bottles of this stuff that man can drink in one sitting?" Legend asks, perturbed.

Wild hands him another, letting out a full laugh this time.

Dinner is going to be... _fun._

He finishes the second bottle and gets back to skewering food.

Wild and Legend enter the inn, arms loaded with various plates and bowls piled high with delicious looking food. 

Warriors, from where he's chatting up the inn keeper, excuses himself and saunters over to help. 

"Here, let me... whoa. That's a lot of food."

"There's more outside by the cookpot," Wild tells him. He spots Wind by the window. "Wind could you—"

Before Wild can finish his sentence Wind is yelling _I'm on it_ and racing out the door.

Warriors huffs out a laugh as he places the dish of steamed meat on the large table.

"He's rather... _hungry_. The smell of cooking has been wafting in here for a while now. I think it's gotten to him." Warriors says, both fond and exasperated sounding. "Say, Wild," he plows on. "Did you know that Prima here likes _crickets_ of all things?"

"You don't say."

"Yeah she..." Warriors trails off as he takes a glance at Legend, who looks more than a little worse for wear. "What happened to you?" he asks, blunt.

"We're all gonna die," Legend mutters, not at all ominously.

Warriors can't question him further on the matter because suddenly there is a commotion at the front door.

"I said I've got it!" Wind calls out.

Time steps in carrying a cookpot, in which it's contents are threatening to slosh over, followed by Twilight carrying another equally filled pot of stew.

"Uh huh. You were just going to lift both of these on your own? Nice try buddy," Twilight calls over his shoulder, a playful grin on his lips.

Wind trails in after them with one of Legend's mushroom skewers in each hand.

"I had it covered, I swear," he squawks.

"The faster we haul all this food in, the faster we can get to eating," Twilight tell him. 

"Efficiency," Time offers up.

Things settle a bit after that.

While the table is being set with their dinner turned banquet, Warriors rounds up the other Links.

He hollers out the door for Hyrule who went wandering around town and finds Four who got hustled into the Dye Shop by 'The Dye Guy's' wife. On their way out, Sayge, as he's called, tells him if he ever want's his scarf dyed multi-coloured like the fashionable young lad here, to head on over anytime; they're open all hours for business.

"Here, I'm _fashionable_," Four says with a smirk. Hateno Village's Best Dressed pin glints on his chest. 

Warriors just gives him a shove to walk faster. Four laughs.

"Who would want to dye their clothes at two in the morning anyway," Warriors mutters.

"Probably Wild," Four says.

"Probably Wild," Warriors agrees.

After a stony glare from a suspicious looking guy parked near the inn, they walk inside to the sound of Hyrule explaining _how there's these interesting blue flames all around town_ and Wild retelling _how long it took to light each lantern_ and _how it rained._

Wind is still holding onto both mushroom skewers he brought in, elbows on the table like he's waiting for someone to yell _go_ so he can devour them up. He spots Warriors and Four and he points a skewer at them with a yip of _they're here!_ He starts gesturing wildly, nearly taking out Time's remaining eye in the process, for them to come and sit down.

Four makes his way over as Warriors yells up the stairs to the final missing person.

"HYAAAAAAAH!"

There's a muffled thunk and a pause before Sky appears at the top of the stairs. He makes his way down, rubbing his eyes. 

"Come on sleepyhead, let's go." Warriors puts an arm around his shoulders and leads the half awake Sky to the table.

There's some sleepy mumbling and Warriors thinks he hears _you could have just yelled dinner like a regular person_ muttered somewhere between all the gibberish but he's not really paying attention because he's _hungry._

With everyone accounted for, Warriors does a head count to be sure, they finally tuck into their feast.

Everything is fine at first. Calm. Light conversation and tasting of various homemade dishes.

Then, all hell breaks loose. Wild observes the chaos.

Wind is yelling, loudly. Wild can't tell exactly what he's saying except that it's blaring and panicked, syllables all messed up.

If Sky wasn't quite awake before, he certainly looks it now. His eyes are wide open and bulging. He's sitting stock still like he's in shock.

Warriors is fanning himself with his scarf and glaring with Guardian laser intensity at Legend who has been quietly sipping ice cold water since dinner began. 

"Told you," Legend says, lips curling with a smirk.

Warrior's glare sharpens.

"So _this_ is why you haven't eaten anything yet."

Time has a mini fortification of milk bottles surrounding his plate and keeps handing a new one to Twilight each time he finishes one off. 

"Hang in there, pup," he consoles, rubbing Twilight's back.

"Wild. Wild, _cub_, what... w-what happened? What did Legend _do_?" Twilight asks desperately between gulps. He's sweating pretty badly.

"Oi. This one is all the wild child's doing," Legend fires back.

Wild chuckles nervously.

Sky shakes himself out of his stupor and enlightens everyone with: "My mouth is _dying_?"

"Four _looks_ dead," Legend reports with a snort. 

He does in fact. He's face down on the table, not moving.

Wind's yelling has finally stopped. He snatched Legend glass of water and has now moved on to drinking the whole pitcher.

Wild sighs.

"I'm sorry if dinner is a bit... _spicy_." Wild gives everyone a sheepish look.

"Spicy?"

All heads turn to Hyrule.

Hyrule has an eyebrow raised, spoon half stuffed in his mouth. 

"What's spicy?" he asks around the mouthful. He dips the spoon back into his soup and take another sip. Then another, unaffected.

Wild is utterly _beaming_ again.

"Hyrule's not Hylian. He _can't_ be," Warriors proclaims. There's a manic edge to his voice.

"Maybe he lost his taste buds during one of his wanderings?" Four comments, now alive and not well. 

Wind agrees from his pitcher, voice distorted, "It'z pozzible."

"Wild," Time interrupts. The word is both a name and a demand. He's got his arms crossed and a heavy frown that's dampened somewhat by how red and blotchy his face is. "What happened? What exactly did you add to the food?" He continues Twilight's earlier, unanswered question. 

"Um... just Goron Spice."

Time nods solemnly like he understands the gravitas of the statement. _Gorons._ "Well that explains everything," he says.

Wild, in fact, also added five spicy peppers to the Goron Spice Stew but he won't ever tell them that. 

Before anything else can be said, the inn door slams open with gusto and a man falls past the threshold, spilling the crickets he was carrying in his arms onto the inn floor. In seconds, there's mayhem.

There may or may not be more screaming from Sky.

"So he had you run around town collecting ten crickets and then he gathered the rest?" Hyrule asks, incredulously.

"Must have taken him until now to round up that many. Didn't think he'd work up the nerve to actually give them to her though," Wild responses.

"I guess a bunch of unfamiliar travellers kicked started his rival senses?"

"Or Warriors wooing," Four chimes in, laughing behind his hand.

"The guy was _outside_. How could he hear us _talking_?" Warrior laments. He throws his hands up in frustration.

They're making their way back up the path to Wild's house to hopefully sleep off their dinner. The inn has been closed until further notice due to an infestation of crickets and Wild and Hyrule think it's a real shame they couldn't finish their meal. The others, not so much.

They wave to Bolson and Karson, the near permanent fixtures ornamenting Wild's front lawn, and head inside to rest.

As Wild settles into his own bed, he stares at the ceiling listening to the hushed sounds and antics from the floor below of the people he's come to care for. People who have become an integral part of his life.

He looks to the picture on his bedroom wall and smiles at the faces of half remembered but important friends he finds there. He thinks he should hang another picture in the place beside it. Perhaps the one he snuck at dinner this evening. He'll have to ban anyone from coming up to his room if he does, though. Still, a memento would be nice—something special.

He decides he'll wake up early tomorrow morning and make breakfast for the group downstairs to make up for this evening. One without Goron Spice.

Wild falls asleep with a smile on his face and thoughts of friends on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wild's bedroom walls now consists of landscape paintings, a photo of the heroic Champions + Zelda and him, and a snapshot of his hot mess of a group he calls friends.
> 
> Also, a while back, someone's headcanon was that Hyrule has no taste buds. I'm sorry I don't remember who's it was but I _loved_ the idea and wanted to include it somehow!


	2. Crab Fiesta

Twilight finds it amusing watching their mad dashes up and down the beach after the little crabs. Especially when the two youngest heroes accidentally crash into each other after chasing the same one. 

He's sitting on the sand next to Time who's actually relaxed enough for once to take a nap, after he relinquished camp watch duty to Twilight. He's got a Korok leaf over his face and is snoozing. 

Twilight thinks that having a break at the beaches south-west of Lurelin Village really was a good idea. He gets to observe how ridiculous his companions are—not that he didn't already know that but, still. It makes his job as sentry less boring.

Warriors is on Time's other side, taking advantage of the meager shade the palm trees provides. He's stated multiple times over the last hour how they're all gonna get sunburned and he reiterates his statement this time with added dramatic flair.

Legend, nose already bright red, just laughs at how prissy Warriors looks moping under his tree. Warriors threatens to bury him in the sand and leave him there for a week.

At one point, the dynamic crab duo change their strategy by attempting stealth. Wind tries sneaking up on them by crawling along the sand on his belly. The serious look of concentration that twists his face is quite funny considering the situation. Wild chooses to crouch-walk his way instead and when he gets close enough to one crab, he lunges at it and snaches it off the sand but the crab retaliates by snapping at him and cutting his fingers.

Twilight starts at this and shifts into a wolf in an instant. He makes a beeline to the offending crab, face set in a sneer.

There's not much remaining crab when Twilight is finished with it. It's mostly just pieces strewn haphazardly around the beach. Wild and Wind look on with sad, dejected faces and it's then that Twilight realises his mistake. He scrabbles to dig a hole, throw the crab in and cover it. He then santers off to find a stick as a marker and places it in the sand.

"This is so sad," Wind says. "We were gonna eat that crab." He gives a small, pathetic salute to said buried crab.

Twilight wanders off again, trotting back shortly after with a crab in his mouth. It's whole this time. Wind and Wild are ecstatic, dead crab completely forgotten, as Wild adds this newly procured one to the Sheikah Slate.

"Fifty-two."

Fifty-two frigging crabs. How Wild found that many in one afternoon is beyond Twilight. 

Wind is fascinated by how things can simply disappear into the slate and wonders what else it can store. Twigs? Rocks? He moseys away to find a suitable rock (and finds five rupees and a Korok hiding under a stone in which he high fives) and brings back one much, much larger than his own head.

It turns out that the slate cannot, in fact, absorb plain old gray rocks. They're mildly disappointed.

However, they're not deterred so easily. Twilight leaves them to their experiments and scans the beach to check on the others. 

Hyrule is making a Hyrule Sand Castle that is worryingly accurate. The turrets have realistic texture. There are _shingles_.

A bit aways from him is Legend, swatting darners with a suspiciously familiar looking stick. Twilight looks around, and yep, the marker is gone. 

Apparently, from what Twilight can catch from Legend's mutterings, is that Hyrule said it was getting too hot out, so Legend decided he'd make him a chilly elixir because, really, he is a softy and yet he thinks no one knows. Warriors tells him to let him do it because he's less likely to burn the beach down and actually _knows_ the full recipe Wild taught them.

"_Cool_ darners, not warm ones!" he chides. Legend chucks one of them at his face. Warriors makes a high pitched noise that he'll later deny ever came from his throat.

Farthest away from camp is Sky who has happily starfished himself in the sand while looking up at the puffy white clouds slowly rolling by, and listening to the squawks of seagulls overhead. They're not the familiar sounds of the bird he probably hopes to hear but he looks relaxed under the blue sky, anyway. Maybe missing his home just a little less. He dozes.

Twilight looks back to Legend and there's a steadily growing pile of darners by the cook pot. None of them are blue or cool.

Warriors, and by extension Legend, eventually make what they believe to be chilly elixirs for the whole group. Legend hands one of them to Hyrule and gets a happy chirp of thanks in return. Warriors downs an entire elixir himself and then pores another on his skin and rubs it all over. _Frigging sunscreen._ He is ready. To. Go.

He loudly declares a race and Time wakes up from all the racket saying how he'll compete if it will shut them all up.

Legend draws the starting line in the sand with the contraband stick he nicked and Wind and Wild trot on over from where they were attempting to Sheikah absorb an entire palm tree. Wild says he'll keep time; he has a Sheikah stopwatch rune for that.

Of _course_ he does.

Warriors steps up to the starting line and begins warming up with some light leg stretches. 

Time steps up to the starting line and faces the _wrong way_. Warriors looks on in horror.

Time means business. Twilight has only seen him like this when things were dire. When time was of the essence. 

He must really want to get back to his nap.

The Captain has the look of a man wondering what exactly he's gotten himself into. He visibly glups. 

As Wild starts the countdown, Warriors takes a large, steadying breath and steels himself for the race. 

When Wild yells _go_ they take off down the beach. Time does backflip after backflip beside the Captain, intermediated by some backwards running. Warriors looks stunned by the sheer speed of Time's flipping, eyes fixated on him, and him alone, so he isn't paying attention to his surroundings when a crab wanders into his path.

Twilight tries to warn him. He barks. That must count for something.

He watches, as if in slow motion, Warriors tripping over the crab, and then falling, crashing—

Time crosses the finish line by somersaulting backwards over it and his landing is impeccable. It's a sure, solid win.

Wild saunters up next to Warriors's disheveled, prone form laying strewn on the sand and picks up the crab.

"Fifty-three," he says.

Wind claps happily like a seal.

Warriors groans.

And Time, _good race Capitan_, goes back to resume his nap. Warriors, dejected, accepts a hand up from Wild and follows after Time. He ends up sulking under thier shared palm tree, knees drawn up to his chest.

With the excitement of the race having died down, Hyrule suggests that _they should probably eat soon, right?_ So, Wild starts working on cooking his epic crab fiesta.

It's not long until the beach air is filled with a delicious aroma. Sky pirks up from the smell of food, somehow oblivious to the prior comotion, and starts helping Wild with cooking. Twilight deicides to trot over to their side to hopefully snag some pre-dinner treats. Sky will always sneak him something. He settles near the boy's feet, tail thumping on the ground in anticipation.

He hears Wild mumble that they could use more wood to start another fire or they'll never eat before it gets dark—they have a lot of dishes to prepare and people to feed. 

Wind, the ever dutiful sou chef, volunteers to seek out their needed lumber. With something Twilight swears is akin to a skip in his step, Wind goes and hacks at a nearby palm tree with vigor. 

It just so happens to be _that_ palm tree. 

Warriors looks so _done_.

Task completed, Wind trots back with a blinding grin on his face and arms loaded with logs of wood. He dumps them on the ground ready for Wild to light. Twilight takes a preemptive step back. Then, another for good measure.

"Wild!" Legend calls out, heading over to them as if also sensing that Wild is about to do something fundamentally _overkill_. His eyes go wide at the sight of all the wood piled up and then they narrow at the weapon that materializes in Wild's hands. 

"Wild," he says, voice slow and drawn out as if talking to a feral animal. "Just use some flint this time, okay? Or maybe—" 

Legend's words go unheard as the pyromaniac Cub, with his bow that can shoot five fire arrows, gets a nice, big bonfire started within seconds. 

"Oh for the love of—" Legend mutters under his breath. Twilight thinks Legend's eye roll could be seen from space, could rival Midna's.

...

Oh man. _Midna._

Trying to ignore the sudden pang in his chest conjured up by the thought of her name, he decidedly watches the group cook. Wild starts roasting the crabs by chucking them directly into the billowing flames. Warriors ends up helping too, seeing as his shade has been used in the bonfire effort. He flings them with more force than needed, rather penculant.

As the cooking continues, a lone Lizalfos dares to wander into their campsite as it was lured by the hearty scents of cooked seafood. It lerks just at the water's edge, watching.

Hyrule shoots it down with an arrow. He lands a solid bullseye and the Lizalfos disintegrates into smoke, leaving behind various items that float in the water. 

"Anyone care about the loot?" Hyrule hollers out to the group.

Wild's hand shoots up. 

"Maybe if we wait the waves will bring it in," a voice off to Hyrule's left says. He visibly flinches nearly half out of his own skin at the sound.

Seemingly appeared out of nowhere next to Hyrule, Four gives the boy a small wave. Twilight wonders where he's been all this time. Hyrule asks exactly that.

"Where have you been all this time?"

"Small talking with the locals," is the reply he gets, along with a coy smirk.

Ah, the beach Minish.

Hyrule looks around, clearly puzzled by Four's answer. Other than their group, and the random sprinkling of wildlife, the beach is deserted.

Before Hyrule can ask him to clarify what he even means, Time's hookshot shoots through the space between them, surprising the pair. It latches onto the loot and reels it in, lighting fast. Hyrule and Four sport matching looks of shock as if they didn't even know the hookshot _had_ that kind of range.

What get's Twilight is that Time never even opened his eye. Twilight is impressed. And scared.

With little finesse, Time tosses the acquired items in Hyrule's direction and he manages to catch them with only some mild fumbling happening.

"Wild, you wanted these, right?" Hyrule asks, trying to balance all the items in his arms. A Lizalfos horn almost slips to the ground.

Wild nods vigorously from where he's stir-frying something that's starting to smell mighty good... 

"SHEIKAH STATE IT!" Wind cries. He runs enthusiastically over to Hyrule, slate held high over his head, with an energy level that Twilight questions how it can be contained in such a small body. Maybe he runs on the same juice that power's Wild's slate?

They all crowd around Wind, watching the screen as item after item disappears into it's inventory, while Wild continues to cook. In addition to the new loot Wild has gained via team effort they find out that he also has seven hundred apples, two hundred mushrooms and a whole slew of other ridiculous amounts of ingredients. Including more crabs.

"We'll never go hungry with Wild around," Hyrule marveles, in awe.

"I didn't always have enough food," Wild mumbles.

Everyone turns to look at him and he shys under the sudden attention. It doesn't stop him from tossing the stir-fry into the air and expertly catching it seconds later, though. 

"There was that whole week after I woke up—" he pauses, face screwing up at the memory, "—where I just ate raw Hyrule Herbs."

"Why?" Wind's curious little head tilt could almost be called cute if it weren't for him making _that_ face again—the scrunchy one he does with the squinty eyes.

"Didn't have enough arrows to shoot game. Ate all my apples and mushrooms fighting Talus. Plus, I didn't realise I could cook the herbs so they would taste better.

"Oh."

"Don't look so sad, Wind. Few weeks later I stared at a wildberry bush for twenty minutes and remembered how to make _crepes_ and _cakes_. Best stomach ache ever.

"Cool," Legend says, flatly. "But that doesn't explain why you already have, like, a million crabs. Why'd you need to go and catch more?"

Wild gives him a blank stare. "Cus it's fun," he says, like the reason is super obvious.

The conversation gets interrupted as another Lizalfos, clearly not deterred by the first's failure, attempts to finish what it's predecessor could not.

Sky, Master Sword in one hand and crab in the other, straight up flings a beam of light into the Lizalfos's face, destroying it instantly. There's cheers. Loot is once again claimed. Then, a mini contest is started up to see who's weapon has the largest range. 

Boomerangs are thrown. Arrows are shot. The sky becomes a mini armory of weapons and magical whatsits. Their game continues well into the evening, even as the sun starts to dip into the horizon. At one point, Twilight shifts back into Hylian form to join in on their game. His weapon of choice is the Ball and Chain that he flings as hard as he can into the air. On it's accent, it eclipses the evening sun. After it's decent, it causes a great splash that soaks them all.

Wild calls them over for supper then and the contest is abandoned because _food_.

It's a feast of epic proportions.

After the sun finally sets and a speckling of stars begin to light up the sky, almost everyone is conked out in their crab induced food comas. Wild and Warriors are the only ones left awake in their little camp, sitting side by side on the sand. Twilight knows because Twilight can't sleep. 

And he can see them from his bedroll. So, there's that.

Therefore, he eavesdrops.

"This is nice," Wild comments. Twilight silently agrees because honestly, it is. The moon is pearl bright over the ocean and reflecting off the gentle pulse of the waves and there's a cool breeze off the water making the summer evening refreshing after the heat of the day. It's a beautiful night and he sinks into the calm of it.

He still can't sleep, though.

"Mm," Warriors hums in agreement. "The stars are real pretty."

"Well, that too," Wild replies. "It's just... it's quiet now. It's nice."

Warriors pauses at picking crab meat out of his teeth with one of Sky's crafted toothpicks to look at Wild. He raises one delicately arched eyebrow.

"You've been a big instigator of noise today, you know. On a daily basis, I might add. Never know when there's going to be an explosion." 

"Keeps you on your toes." Wild's back is facing him so Twilight can't see his expression but he can certainly _hear_ the smirk in his tone.

"That it does."

They're silent for a while after that, content with gazing at the stars and soaking up the atmosphere until at one point, Wild starts digging through his pockets.

"Here," Wild says. He pulls out a small bag and plucks one of it's contents out to give it to a skeptical looking Warriors. 

"What is it?"

"Honey heated to a precise temperature for a few minutes and then cooled for another few to—" 

"Not _how_. What."

"Candy. Thought you might like some after the rough day you had." 

Wild scratches at the back of his head and looks away, like he's embarrassed by saying that loud. 

Warriors seems touched by the gesture and even from where Twilight is situated, he swears Warriors's eyes light up. He gets Wild in a headlock and then there's some arm flailing and noogies before they settle back down. Wild's hair looks worse than normal by the end of it.

Things are quiet again for a while as they eat their candies before Warriors asks, "These are crab flavored, aren't they?"

Wild hums before popping another one of the honey treats into his mouth. His cheek puffs out on one side like a squirrel. 

"Residue from the cooking pot," he says around the candy.

If Warriors is bothered by this fact, he certainly doesn't show it. That's quite abnormal for him.

"Huh. _Neat_."

It's been a long day and Twilight wonders if it broke Warriors. That, or his taste buds. Wild never had any to begin with, not since Twilight has known him, but seriously, is Warriors okay?

"Legend is gonna be mad at you for not properly cleaning it," Warriors continues.

Wild shrugs.

"He's not awake to know. And these are only for _us_, anyway." A dumb looking smirk slowly speads on his lips when he turns his head to the side enough for Twilight to see, which is then mirored by the Captain.

After that, Warriors seems extra pleased about the secret treat Wild made for them, funky flavor or not.

Twilight shakes his head at their antics and settles back down in his bedroll. He finally falls asleep and dreams of crabs, candies, and companions that mean more to him than the stars will ever know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ocarina of Time speedrunners crack me up with their backflips through Hyrule. These kids got nothing on Time.
> 
> Anyway, I wrote this back in October of last year and I thought one day I would edit this chapter. That day never came. And now this fic has almost reached it's one year anniversary. So, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy whatever this is. xD


End file.
